So as we spiral forward into Christmas, moving, New Year's and Life, things got really crazy really fast, and there was definitely no getting off the ride at this point.
Claudia and Joe hadn't seen their mom for a couple months or more, and then it had only been once in the several months prior to that. Once the baby arrived and the birth mom no longer had to be in hiding, she did request visits. Theia came December 6th, and the soonest one could be arranged and scheduled was for December 18th-ish. She came to that visit, saw all 3 kids for an hour or so, then had another one that Friday the 22nd. Asked if she'd be allowed to bring presents the following week, if we'd still meet on Monday considering it was Christmas Eve, blah blah blah. The visit was interesting, she seemed more like an aunt or cousin to the kids, there was certainly some connection and she seemed involved enough with the kids, but it never seemed like what you'd expect from a 'mother'. That "I'd Fight Off Bears for You" sense of love. She was supposed to visit Christmas eve, but never showed and never saw Claudia and Joe again. Never.
During this time an investigational Social Worker was working through the case and birth mother's history to write a report as to what she thought should happen with the baby, i.e. immediately reunify (give baby right back) reunification services, no services, file to terminate, etc... All of that was going to be presented at the trial which was to take place at the end of January. Needless to say, not visiting again didn't bode well for her.
Christmas was amazing. My parents, and sister were great and sent presents and goodies for the kids, and the magnitude of all the stuff they got between us, them and all the social workers, and agency affiliated 'Santa's Closet' type stuff, was so over whelming that it certainly made up for 3 and 4 years worth of worthless Christmases.
Theia was growing fast, and we were trying to adjust to life with a baby, which much to my embarrassment was WAY harder than I thought it was going to be (10 years of being a nanny/child care provider/licensed-home-Child-Care-owner went right out the window!) Mommy Brain at 3 am is not just a funny term but literally debilitating.
Anyway. Christmas and New Year's came and went and we waited for Theia's trial. The end of January came and birth mom didn't even appear in court. As is required if the parent isn't present, the judge automatically rules according to the recommendation of the social worker, which in this case after no visits, no contact and complete lack of cooperation, was to file to terminate rights and offer no reunification services. (She would have been able to go out and do counseling, rehab, anger management, etc. on her own and it would have showed intent to change, which if she could have proven it, would have been relevant at the actual termination hearing set to take place May 27th-ish, but clearly that was not going to happen.) So they filed to terminate her rights, and again we'd wait. This time until the end of May (the mandatory 120 days from filing until the hearing can be held.)
The following month, February of 2008, brought the end of the 120 day wait on the rights termination filing for Claudia and Joe. At the hearing, in light of all that the mother was not doing, and the dad had agreed, rights were terminated and the kids were freed for adoption. The parents technically had 60 days to appeal this decision (the same way a person sentenced to the death penalty gets to appeal, it might be approved or denied) but they didn't appeal. This meant that we were going to be assigned an adoption agency, would be starting our adoption homestudy, and would be getting ready to adopt the kids by/around the end of the summer/early fall.
During this new time of waiting (yes, there is a lot of clock watching, calendar flipping, and nail biting that goes on quite a bit during this whole process) the social worker that did all the investigation stuff, does not continue with a case after trial, it's not her job to follow up. The case is transferred to one of two types of workers, a Continuing worker (if the plan is to reunite) or an Adoptions worker if rights are to be terminated. Since normal parents show up to trial, they learn right then that their rights are to be terminated. But because birth mom and birth dad didn't show (FYI birth dad denies he's the father even now although it's extremely unlikely to be anyone else), the social workers are required to go through several means of communication to notify them (clearly they need to know this is going to happen to be given a chance to do something about it.) I've never been told exactly who, but somebody dropped the ball and didn't notify mom properly (she never kept a working number, doesn't have a permanent address and has no stable relatives) so anyway. There is a hearing half way through the waiting period on the termination (this one fell in mid/late April), where the sole purpose is to make sure that the notification was done properly, and they discovered that it was not, so they had to start that whole process over, filing for termination over again, and resetting the clock on the 120 days. UGH.
So off we go into a upward spiral again, getting thrown for a loop for sure watching stuff fly out of our pockets as we come to a slowing point while upside down. At this point, stomachs in our throats, we're all about to puke, at the very least, we have all our blood rushing to our heads making thinking extremely difficult.
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