Eastward HO!

So it looks like mid March we're moving to Nebraska. Lincoln, or at least one of the surrounding areas.

There is, of course, a 3.79% chance that something comes up and it does not happen, but for the most part it's looking like a go.

Darren's developing ulcers due to stress at home and work, and the change of pace, job, and surroundings can only help. That added to the tremendous value of having all of my family around to help out and physically give us the support we need makes this a pretty solid deal. We've always suffered not having grandparents and/or aunts and uncles around to be there for us when we need to go out together, had emergencies come up, and in general just needed some extra love and hands.

I'll keep you posted when we make the final confirmation.

Heartache

i'm totally having one of those days(well weeks, months really), where you let things from the past take you over, things that you've tried to push aside for years, and in a moment they come rushing back reminding you that you'll never really be without them. that they are a part of you and you'll never be whole trying to emancipate yourself from them. how do you get them back when it means giving up something you have now? how do you make choices? how do you decide? oh i just have heart ache thinking about it. nothing's ever really lost or forgotten, how do i move forward?

hope is the killer, dispair would at least mean it's over.

To Infinity and Beyond

So it's official! We've finalized with Theia and that means all of our kids are really really ours! It's such a good feeling and although I knew she wasn't going anywhere, and I knew we really were a family, somehow this does actually feel different. Not because she's more ours but we're more hers.

I have been thinking a lot about what sometimes happens, how sometimes sibling sets have to be split up, at times it just isn't possible to keep them all together. Social Services does try their hardest to place separated kids with families that are willing to have contact with each other so the kids can grow up at least knowing each other. It is really sad to think that had we not been able to take Theia, and moved to Lincoln like we're planning to in the next couple years, Claudia and Joe would have grown up and had part of their story be "Yeah, I'm adopted and I have another bio sister that lives out in California some where, but I don't really know her."

Darren and I haven't talked about it much, but for me at least this does solidify my feelings that if the bio-mom were to have more children, even if not with the same dad, and if they were removed as well, I really would want to take them too.

For now it's just us, which considering there is five of us is plenty. It's amazing being able to say 'adopted', not 'being adopted'. Everything is final and done and it really does feel different, and in ways I wasn't really aware it would be, but it definitely feels good.

The Final Finalization

We're totally stoked that Thursday January 15th our finalization of Theia's adoption is scheduled for 8:30am. It seems like such a long and short journey all at once and after everything we've been through it's just such a good feeling to know the end is near.

Of course, it's really not the "end" but just the beginning of a whole new chapter of us as an 'official' family. I can't imagine our lives any differently, these 3 kids are all so perfect, in their flawed ways, so much like us. We've all got so much to learn and fortunately love covers a multitude of sins, so as long as we have that, we can get through anything.

Who knows if the birth mom will get pregnant again? I'm told to brace for it, I'm not going to hold my breath though. If she does and for unfortunate reasons is not able to keep that child either, then my husband and I have already decided we are willing to open our home and hearts to them, and if not, we're ok with that too. God is big, and His best life for us is clearly evident in the fantastic kids we never could have dreamed up ourselves.

So anyway, Thursday it is. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts and some photos to post when it happens. Till then, happy blogging.

CJ and JT

It's been brought to my attention that Theia gets way more face time than my other kids.  

Since I'm really not the kind of person to really care what people think, I'm not really the sort who goes out of my way to 'defend' myself.  But this time, just for the record, I do love my other kids 'just as much' as I love Theia.  Claudia and Joe are both in school and 90% of the time, when I think to take pictures, it's when we're sitting at home during the day.  And no one can argue that babies/toddlers just have way more milestones that register as a moment worth capturing.  No one would argue that Theia gets more face time had we had Claudia and Joe as infants/toddlers and they'd had equal photos of these same milestones being taken.  

That said, C and J do have milestones of their own of course.  Claudia started Kindergarten, and there were photos of that, and Joe has some of him on his bike.  So anyway, this is a post with a couple photos of Claudia and Joe, they got new scooters for Christmas and they love it.  

       

We also took them to Legoland in Carlsbad which they absolutely loved.

Little Drummer Girl

Oh yeah, Theia's getting so grown up, she's following in momma's footsteps and whenever we go to Sam Ash (the music store) she must have a turn on the drum set that's just her size (ok, it's a little big, for now).

She's teething like crazy, at the moment she's sitting next to me chewing on a toy screw driver.  I'm sure that can't feel great, but she's appears to enjoy it.  

Life around here just gets better and better as we're able to enjoy so much more freedom now that she's moving from infancy in to full fledged toddlerhood.

More to follow for sure.

Alodi

Well last night at about 8:30 we got a call. This was a call we'd trained for, prepared our home and hearts for, waited for, and we're still not exactly prepared for.

The director of our Foster Family Agency called to ask us if we could take an emergency foster placement, just for the night. A 14 year old girl needed a place to stay for the night since there had been allegations of abuse in her current foster home and all of the kids were being immediately removed. It was too late in the evening for them to take her to Orangewood, the county group home and obviously the social worker can't just take her home.

Our experience with foster care and the whole system has been so smooth and relatively 'non-foster-care-feeling' that we almost forgot that sometimes this is what it's like to be a foster parent. Some times you get calls like this in the night, a boy or girl, infant/toddler/child/teen needs a place to stay, some place warm, some place safe, a place like yours.

After juggling our kids around, we set up Joe's bed for her, changed the sheets and bedding so she didn't have to sleep with Lightning McQueen and Batman blankets and then I set up toiletries in the second bathroom for her.

We didn't interact with her much since it was late when she came, and she got picked up for school at 7:30am. It was such a short time it really didn't affect our lives a whole lot actually, but when it was time for her to leave she hesitated a bit. When Darren and I talked about it later, we talked about how it seemed like she wanted to run away when she first came, and it almost looked like she didn't want to leave by morning. Whether or not either of our observations were correct, we did our part.

When asked to do something like this, not very many people would say "Sure! Bring your emotionally distraught teen with an anxiety disorder over for the night" But that's what makes foster parents different from other people. We're not better or anything, but we've opened up our lives and homes to these kids who really need it. In the middle of the night, even if only for one night, we were there for her when no one else was.

And in the end, that is what being a foster parent is all about.

Photo Update

Just some photos of Theia, and one of all the kids. They sure are growing fast and Theia's totally silly goofball personality is coming out more and more everyday.