It has occurred to me that I failed to follow up on this particular series. Hopefully it's okay that I do so now.
I left off in Part V with Theia's case in appeals court. Well, the short version of the story is that when the initial appeal was filed, the judge pretty much said they didn't have sufficient evidence to support it and the birth mom was required to submit supplemental evidence within 30 days. She failed to do so. Instead of the appeal taking 8 months, it was over in 31 days. WOOHOO! We got the call in October that since she had failed to provide that document, the judge automatically overruled the appeal and Theia was now free for adoption. So instead of adopting sometime in summer of '09 we were signing her adoption paperwork December 15th of '08.
At Claudia and Joe's finalization, Nov 6th, we already knew the appeal had been denied and were just waiting for some papers that allowed the social workers to move forward; but our attorney was able to talk to the judge and go ahead and schedule the finalization date, far enough out that the papers would come, we could sign her adoption papers, and get everything together by then. Miraculously nothing went wrong and that's exactly what happened. On January 15th 2009 Theia was finalized.
It was fantastic. Our family is fantastic.
I'm not going to try and fool anyone by saying it was easy or anything, because even though in the 'fostercare world' it was pretty smooth and relatively easy, it was still an emotional ride and was hard. I wouldn't trade our kids for anything, but there is still a small part of my heart that knows I only have them at the cost of not having our own. Yes, it's still worth it. With every door closed there is another that opens.
Every day we're working towards becoming better people, spouses, parents, and friends. Our kids have taught us a lot already, and mostly they just remind us that you can't ever stop learning, growing and exploring new things.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
One Hour
So tonight, finally, after close to a year, I went and redeemed a gift card I had for a massage (given to me last mother's day). Yeah, obviously I'm a mom and it takes about a year to find an hour away!
It was fantastic. Anyone who's had a good massage will tell you the same thing, muy fantastico! Anyway, I was so relaxed I almost forgot to put all my clothes back on... yeah, that good.
So with that, I'm looking forward to the chaos that is about to ensue as we frantically race to get the rest of the house packed, and work towards getting everything moved.
Woo hoo! Only a week and a half!
It was fantastic. Anyone who's had a good massage will tell you the same thing, muy fantastico! Anyway, I was so relaxed I almost forgot to put all my clothes back on... yeah, that good.
So with that, I'm looking forward to the chaos that is about to ensue as we frantically race to get the rest of the house packed, and work towards getting everything moved.
Woo hoo! Only a week and a half!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Flying Clocks
We'll be the first, though certainly not the only, to admit that our experiences as a grwoing family have been like a whirl wind and a roller-coaster. It's amazing how fast time flies and with all the responsibility and often stress of raising three kids, it's easy to lose track of time. Much like driving a familiar route, you often arrive not really remembering this particular drive and it's like you were in a trance half the time.
I was looking through some of our old webpages with the kids last night, and it was amazing to go back over some of the wedding photos, and vacations, and then come up to the pages when Claudia and Joe first came to our home, and the adventures we had with them while we 'waited' for Theia to come. A month to the day after Claudia and Joe came, Theia arrived, and our little roller-coaster has been rushing forward at a similar neck-break pace ever since.
Looking back on the photos though, I realize I will never forget some of those most precious moments to me. Claudia and Joe waking up on their first day with us, getting to go camping at Joshua Tree National Park with them, going to the beach, and then the day tiny Theia came, ushering a whole new dimension to our lives since she was a newborn.
I was looking through some of our old webpages with the kids last night, and it was amazing to go back over some of the wedding photos, and vacations, and then come up to the pages when Claudia and Joe first came to our home, and the adventures we had with them while we 'waited' for Theia to come. A month to the day after Claudia and Joe came, Theia arrived, and our little roller-coaster has been rushing forward at a similar neck-break pace ever since.
Looking back on the photos though, I realize I will never forget some of those most precious moments to me. Claudia and Joe waking up on their first day with us, getting to go camping at Joshua Tree National Park with them, going to the beach, and then the day tiny Theia came, ushering a whole new dimension to our lives since she was a newborn.
I thought I'd post a few photos just so we can all reminisce together. Enjoy!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Empty and Frantic
so just the other day, i'm walking down the street and pass this woman on the sidewalk. i look at her for a moment taking in her tattered layers of rags, gnarled hair and dirt streaked face, and in the instant we make eye contact- an eternity passes. her eyes, with wrinkles etched deep, shaping bags seemingly holding dark pools of ink- surrounding eyes sunken and grey, speak of a life she lived ages ago; possibly a life with a husband, 3 kids and a miniature poodle who never really learned to stop peeing on the rug by her youngest son's bedroom door. a family full of love and silliness, bursting with dreams and tears shared.
yet something over came them and along the line of broken bones, broken promises, and in the end broken dreams, something has left this woman with only a shell of her self to remind her of the rise and fall of hope in her life, like a tide, pulling her out to a dark sea of despair. a life which in her current mental state, lost, afraid, and frantic, she can barely even remember, only shadows like ghosts, which haunt her and bring nothing but the pain of her life that died, and forgot to take her with it.
and as we pass by, the air around her feels dead, like the eye of a storm, silent, still, lifeless, sucking the joy out of all that comes near her, like a black hole she's created for herself, to protect herself from letting anyone ever want to come close to her again. her moat of disgust preventing anyone from breaking into her fortress of pain so that she'll never again put herself at risk to love, to feel, to want, and therefore, never again suffer loss, hurt, or disappointment. sadly, it's really just her way of letting her heart be dead while she waits for her body to catch up.
though it brings the risk of pain and loss; living with hope, passion and love is, indeed, Heaven, and she's chosen instead, to live in Hell.
yet something over came them and along the line of broken bones, broken promises, and in the end broken dreams, something has left this woman with only a shell of her self to remind her of the rise and fall of hope in her life, like a tide, pulling her out to a dark sea of despair. a life which in her current mental state, lost, afraid, and frantic, she can barely even remember, only shadows like ghosts, which haunt her and bring nothing but the pain of her life that died, and forgot to take her with it.
and as we pass by, the air around her feels dead, like the eye of a storm, silent, still, lifeless, sucking the joy out of all that comes near her, like a black hole she's created for herself, to protect herself from letting anyone ever want to come close to her again. her moat of disgust preventing anyone from breaking into her fortress of pain so that she'll never again put herself at risk to love, to feel, to want, and therefore, never again suffer loss, hurt, or disappointment. sadly, it's really just her way of letting her heart be dead while she waits for her body to catch up.
though it brings the risk of pain and loss; living with hope, passion and love is, indeed, Heaven, and she's chosen instead, to live in Hell.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Leaving on a Jet Plane
Alright, so by now I'm sure you've all heard that the Croteau family is indeed moving, to an enchanted land, far far away.
Ok, so not so enchanted, but certainly far away. We'll be moving to a small town just outside of Lincoln, NE, called Holland. (you see, if I'd said we were moving to Holland half of you would have said "The Netherlands?!" which would be cool, but is not the case)
I've gotten a lot of questions about "why?!", "why so sudden?", "what about the subzero whether?", and so on and so forth. So hopefully I can be explain and answer at least some of those questions now.
Why? First off, I do believe that this is a God thing. He's opening the door for us to do this right now when it wasn't open before. No we don't have all the answers and no we don't always know exactly why things happen when/why they do, but right now we do believe this is the best thing for our family.
Why Nebraska? Well of course it's because of the beef and corn.
Actually, I grew up there, and all of my family is there, I have 3 sisters, Aspen, Kate, and Jillian, of which two, Aspen and Jillian, have 4 and 5 kids (well #5 is on the way) and their kids just "happen" to be nearly the exact same ages as mine. My younger sister, Kate, and I are very close as well. My dad, his wife, and her kids live there, and I'm extremely close to my dad, and my mom and her husband live there as well and I'm getting closer and closer to them as I get older. (my dad always had custody so I didn't live with my mom and our relationship is a work in progress, she has been married to my stepdad for over 20 years and I am pretty close to him too)
This is just my immediate family, I have cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, the family friends we grew up thinking were family they spent so much time with us as well. And we have one of those families that is all about getting together, having traditions, holidays, birthdays, and just being a part of each others lives.
We know that family isn't everything, after all, God calls people pack up and move away as missionaries all the time, but anyone will tell you that even if family isn't everything, it sure is a lot. And with all the changes to our family in the past year and a half, right now we can use all the extra family support we can get.
Keep in mind that Darren grew up in the Boston Mass area and all of his family is still on the east coast, so we have zero family here.
Why so sudden? Well it's not really that sudden. Darren and I have talked for years about the possibility of moving there always knowing that although you can raise great kids in SoCal, we wanted a different life for ours if possible. One with yards and free roaming neighborhoods and in general the safety to be a little more carefree. And of course we wanted family to be a part of that. The timing has totally just been a God thing. There have been a lot of things that have let Darren and I know that it was time for change, and we were actually fighting it for a while. With Darren developing ulcers and needing to make changes in his work life, and knowing we needed to make changes that will benefit the whole family, we feel that this is where God is leading us, at least for now.
Another key to Nebraska is definitely the cost of living and quality of life. Yes, you're surrounded by grasslands, prairie and agriculture, (all of which are beautiful in their own right) but out here you've got what? apartment complexes? building after building after building? and statistically one of the worst air qualities in the nation? Yes, the weather is great, yes there is the beach, but city to city, there is nothing here that isn't there. It's just that this time of year you wear a parka to go out instead of tee shirts. Weather isn't everything and I personally miss having it snow a few times a year, I miss thunder and lighting storms, I miss rains and floods and not so much heat and humidity, but collectively all of it, it's always different and it always changes, so at least you appreciate the good way more in light of the not-so-good.
So we're going to buy some sweaters and parkas and get ready for what Nebraska has to offer.
We don't know what we're going to 'do' once we get there, but hopefully God will continue to reveal His awesome plan and we're going to enjoy ever mile of this adventure even if we have no idea where we're headed.
On a personal note, please don't think for a minute that it's not with a great degree of sadness that we move. Darren has spent nearly half of his life here, all as an adult. He has lived, worked and played here, made friends, met coworkers, and had friends that have become a second family to him. He's had a life and planned his future around being here, and it's not an easy thing to give up. The choice he's making now is the same choice I made years ago when I chose to move here and say goodbye to everything and everyone I knew. It's going to be hard, family or not there will be days when he is a nostalgic sort of lonely for this place and for the life he leaves behind. Claudia has already cried about leaving her friends. It's not without cost to her and Joe that we leave. She was born here and this is all she's ever known. She had chaos in her life until she came to our home and the past year and a half has been rock hard stable and the most consistency she's ever known so it is completely rocking her world to feel like she's being uprooted. But it is with all the Pros in mind that we make this choice knowing it's what's best for her and for all of us. Honestly, Joe is a little less concerned, but he's a boy and younger so that's normal. Theia won't know the difference.
And personally, I've also lived here for the past 4 years, and San Diego for 3 years as well and going back does symbolize closing the book on the California chapter of my life. (And for my carefree spirit, the idea of permanently settling down and not living in a tree house somewhere is really difficult to accept.) I have made friends, formed a new life, started new traditions and will miss it all terribly.
I will certainly keep posting our adventures as they happen. Small town living does provide some fantastic and very unique opportunities for kids and I'm excited to see what living so fully in the midst of nature and wilderness does for their spirits, I know what it did for mine. For example see my childhood home, and read my kids' reaction, it's pretty telling that this might be just the adventure they need. So yes, I'm excited. Excited to see if they learn to be wild and free, tree climbers, frog catchers, rock turners, cloud gazers, storm chasers, and more than anything, excited to see them learn hands on and eyes wide open what nature and the world is all about.
Some day they'll grow up, and maybe one day their kids will ask them what they once asked me, "You lived in the Park?!" and they'll also get to say "Yes, I guess I did live in the park." Every kid deserves the park, and I'm so glad to be giving one to my kids.
Ok, so not so enchanted, but certainly far away. We'll be moving to a small town just outside of Lincoln, NE, called Holland. (you see, if I'd said we were moving to Holland half of you would have said "The Netherlands?!" which would be cool, but is not the case)
I've gotten a lot of questions about "why?!", "why so sudden?", "what about the subzero whether?", and so on and so forth. So hopefully I can be explain and answer at least some of those questions now.
Why? First off, I do believe that this is a God thing. He's opening the door for us to do this right now when it wasn't open before. No we don't have all the answers and no we don't always know exactly why things happen when/why they do, but right now we do believe this is the best thing for our family.
Why Nebraska? Well of course it's because of the beef and corn.
Actually, I grew up there, and all of my family is there, I have 3 sisters, Aspen, Kate, and Jillian, of which two, Aspen and Jillian, have 4 and 5 kids (well #5 is on the way) and their kids just "happen" to be nearly the exact same ages as mine. My younger sister, Kate, and I are very close as well. My dad, his wife, and her kids live there, and I'm extremely close to my dad, and my mom and her husband live there as well and I'm getting closer and closer to them as I get older. (my dad always had custody so I didn't live with my mom and our relationship is a work in progress, she has been married to my stepdad for over 20 years and I am pretty close to him too)
This is just my immediate family, I have cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, the family friends we grew up thinking were family they spent so much time with us as well. And we have one of those families that is all about getting together, having traditions, holidays, birthdays, and just being a part of each others lives.
We know that family isn't everything, after all, God calls people pack up and move away as missionaries all the time, but anyone will tell you that even if family isn't everything, it sure is a lot. And with all the changes to our family in the past year and a half, right now we can use all the extra family support we can get.
Keep in mind that Darren grew up in the Boston Mass area and all of his family is still on the east coast, so we have zero family here.
Why so sudden? Well it's not really that sudden. Darren and I have talked for years about the possibility of moving there always knowing that although you can raise great kids in SoCal, we wanted a different life for ours if possible. One with yards and free roaming neighborhoods and in general the safety to be a little more carefree. And of course we wanted family to be a part of that. The timing has totally just been a God thing. There have been a lot of things that have let Darren and I know that it was time for change, and we were actually fighting it for a while. With Darren developing ulcers and needing to make changes in his work life, and knowing we needed to make changes that will benefit the whole family, we feel that this is where God is leading us, at least for now.
Another key to Nebraska is definitely the cost of living and quality of life. Yes, you're surrounded by grasslands, prairie and agriculture, (all of which are beautiful in their own right) but out here you've got what? apartment complexes? building after building after building? and statistically one of the worst air qualities in the nation? Yes, the weather is great, yes there is the beach, but city to city, there is nothing here that isn't there. It's just that this time of year you wear a parka to go out instead of tee shirts. Weather isn't everything and I personally miss having it snow a few times a year, I miss thunder and lighting storms, I miss rains and floods and not so much heat and humidity, but collectively all of it, it's always different and it always changes, so at least you appreciate the good way more in light of the not-so-good.
So we're going to buy some sweaters and parkas and get ready for what Nebraska has to offer.
We don't know what we're going to 'do' once we get there, but hopefully God will continue to reveal His awesome plan and we're going to enjoy ever mile of this adventure even if we have no idea where we're headed.
On a personal note, please don't think for a minute that it's not with a great degree of sadness that we move. Darren has spent nearly half of his life here, all as an adult. He has lived, worked and played here, made friends, met coworkers, and had friends that have become a second family to him. He's had a life and planned his future around being here, and it's not an easy thing to give up. The choice he's making now is the same choice I made years ago when I chose to move here and say goodbye to everything and everyone I knew. It's going to be hard, family or not there will be days when he is a nostalgic sort of lonely for this place and for the life he leaves behind. Claudia has already cried about leaving her friends. It's not without cost to her and Joe that we leave. She was born here and this is all she's ever known. She had chaos in her life until she came to our home and the past year and a half has been rock hard stable and the most consistency she's ever known so it is completely rocking her world to feel like she's being uprooted. But it is with all the Pros in mind that we make this choice knowing it's what's best for her and for all of us. Honestly, Joe is a little less concerned, but he's a boy and younger so that's normal. Theia won't know the difference.
And personally, I've also lived here for the past 4 years, and San Diego for 3 years as well and going back does symbolize closing the book on the California chapter of my life. (And for my carefree spirit, the idea of permanently settling down and not living in a tree house somewhere is really difficult to accept.) I have made friends, formed a new life, started new traditions and will miss it all terribly.
I will certainly keep posting our adventures as they happen. Small town living does provide some fantastic and very unique opportunities for kids and I'm excited to see what living so fully in the midst of nature and wilderness does for their spirits, I know what it did for mine. For example see my childhood home, and read my kids' reaction, it's pretty telling that this might be just the adventure they need. So yes, I'm excited. Excited to see if they learn to be wild and free, tree climbers, frog catchers, rock turners, cloud gazers, storm chasers, and more than anything, excited to see them learn hands on and eyes wide open what nature and the world is all about.
Some day they'll grow up, and maybe one day their kids will ask them what they once asked me, "You lived in the Park?!" and they'll also get to say "Yes, I guess I did live in the park." Every kid deserves the park, and I'm so glad to be giving one to my kids.
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