i'm totally having one of those days(well weeks, months really), where you let things from the past take you over, things that you've tried to push aside for years, and in a moment they come rushing back reminding you that you'll never really be without them. that they are a part of you and you'll never be whole trying to emancipate yourself from them. how do you get them back when it means giving up something you have now? how do you make choices? how do you decide? oh i just have heart ache thinking about it. nothing's ever really lost or forgotten, how do i move forward?
hope is the killer, dispair would at least mean it's over.
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