Zooming down the hill and rounding the next turn at break-neck-speed...
It's the end of October, our certification was being wrapped up we got a call about a potential placement. At first they told us Boy 4, Girl 3 living in an Emergency Shelter Home (ESH) for 60 days (typical ESH placement should not exceed 30 days) they'd been in an extended family member's home for 10 months prior to that. We asked for more info and the placement worker called. Correct information was Girl 4, Boy 3, pregnant bio-mom, therefore, potential placement of infant to follow. They were still in the reunification process but they were looking for a family open to adoption as a back up plan since the bio-mom was pretty flaky and the bio-dad was faltering. We were pretty shocked, we knew that day would come but to actually get a call was still a strange feeling. We said we wanted to move forward and a meeting was set up.
The meeting was scheduled for a couple days later (Darren and I couldn't stop thinking about them the whole time and constantly felt like we were in a dream) The kids bounced into the Burger King meeting and Darren and I both suffered a bad case of Love at First Sight. Claudia was Little Miss Chatter Box from the first minute and Joe sat right down with Darren and was really interested in what he was doing. I sat down with the ESH mom and Mark to talk about the kids and what their lives were like, they'd been in the system for almost a year and what that had meant for them. At this point she also let us know that the bio-mom had actually already had the baby but was in hiding. Darren bought the kids some food and sat with them just talking, playing and watching them.
The ESH mom told me about how the kids treated each other. She said Joe was a real piece of work that would have raging tantrums 20 times a day that would last way to long and he'd be inconsolable, he was mean to other kids, wasn't potty trained (he'd just turned 3) how she wasn't going to even try potty training him since she just 'knew' he'd regress once he moved again. She went on about how they fought and hurt each other, hurt other kids, broke toys, pulled hair, cried, how Joe was insanely possessive of Claudia, never letting anyone else touch her or play with her and was pretty much always naughty and basically just went on and on about all these negative things about them. I guess God gave me some rose colored glasses for the moment because when I looked at them all I saw were beautiful babies that really needed love, and had a tremendous potential for love. They sat with Darren in the booth chatting and playing with the BK toys for over an hour (yes, they SAT).
We left feeling like we had an amazing opportunity to love these kids for a while and that we'd love them as much and as hard as we could for as long as we had them. Even if it was only for 6 months.
We asked to have an over night with the kids so we could spend more time with them and they could spend more time with us. Halloween was just around the corner, it was on a Wednesday that year, and I had already taken the day off to help Darren with the event we host at church. We got the kids Tuesday night, had them Wednesday and took them back Thursday morning (remember neither of us worked Thursday mornings). From the first minute in our house we were completely confused. Where was the crazed tantrum boy who always wanted to hurt his sister? Where was the fighting? Where was the complete lack of social ability in both of them? From the beginning they flourished in our house. I don't think it's because Darren and I are amazing miracle workers, it probably had more to do with the fact that they got one on one with us and the ESH mom was a single mom, very obese with a day care, her other foster kids, some kids she'd adopted and a house that was so cluttered with junk that social workers feel compelled to include that point in their reports about her house.
It was so hard to take them back. After a couple days of amazing fun and loving them already it was painful to have to take them back to that Burger King and leave them with that ESH mom. They seemed so sad as well.
I'd been working as a nanny, so when we got the green light and we accepted the kids I gave my 2 week notice. My boss was ticked but that's a whole other story.
We decided to take the kids when my 2 weeks was over since we didn't have any other way to take care of them during the day. After the first couple days we broke down, called the social workers and begged to have the kids come ASAP. We wrapped everything up and got them November 6th, 6 days after our certification went through. We juggled the kids between us while I finished out my job. Mostly they went with Darren to work (God bless our church for being so understanding and looking the other way while Darren got absolutely no work done in that time).
As my job ended and I started my life as a stay at home mom. With in a week of the kids arrival we received some court documents stating that the kids' parent's rights were being terminated and we were being asked to adopt them. At this point we were like 'what the heck? what happened to Mark's statement of 'eventually but not likely'?"
We agreed and started working with the social workers on the adoption process. Most of it would have to wait until the hearing actually occurred, which was scheduled for February. During this time Darren and I started talking about moving. We were living in a 2 bedroom home and although the kids were allowed to share a room, once Claudia turned 5 they wouldn't be able to anymore. That gave us a year, but we didn't want to paint ourselves into a corner by waiting too long. So we decided to move, actually finding a 3 bedroom place in our same complex. 2 weeks after the kids came, we put in our notice to move, 2 weeks later, (a month to the day since the kids arrived) we got the call that the baby had been located and removed from her mother and we were being asked to take her. It was December 6th.
I happened to talk to a girl friend who's son was a couple days from turning 1, so she still had her infant carrier, but had already bought her forward facing carseat. She came over with a ton of baby necessities and we got ready for baby. She came that evening and everyone was awestruck. She was beautiful, Claudia showed her her new bed, Joe kissed her head and we all gathered around as Daddy got to be the first to feed her.
We were about to move, Christmas was coming, we suddenly have 3 kids and our lives careening forward so fast, spinning upwards as the first loop sends us all upside down, but in that moment when you're falling you feel weightless and just enjoy the ride.
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