TDS (Technology Dependency Syndrome)

I've recently been diagnosed with a life altering disorder. It's known as TDS or Technology Dependency Syndrome.

TDS usually manifests itself in typical ways, in my particular case, my brain no longer relies on internal memory to do nearly anything. I can seldom remember my own phone number, let alone anyone elses, on my computer I have alarms set to tell me when to pay bills, when to send birthday cards (and to whom), when to get an oil change, when to schedule cleaning, lunch, coffee, play dates, and free time with my husband. My cell phone doesn't just have a phone book, but games (I have no idea when I last played a board game on a real board) it connects to the internet, sends email and instant messages (I almost don't need my laptop as well), is a voice recorder, my alarm clock, calculator (yeah, who remembers basic math anymore) is a camera, video camera, and an MP3 player. I don't use pens, pencils, or paper (only paper I use gets it's ink from the printer). I don't remember the last time I actually flipped pages on a real cook book, I usually google it.

Speaking of Google; the phone book that gets left at the door gets thrown away before we even take it out of the plastic bag, I haven't used my Thomas Guide Street Map in ages, and who knows the last time I booked a flight through an airline or travel agent. We check movie times on line, buy everything from clothes, shampoo, vitamins, food, clothes, games, flowers and even gifts for other people that our hands will never even touch. I'm not even sure if my money is real or imaginary, I haven't really held cash in a long time.

Despite the fact that all of this is overwhelming evidence of my condition, I was not completely aware of its severity until one crippling symptom appeared;

One day while in a rare moment separated from my gadgets, I was forced to use a pencil and paper to jot down a note. As I was writing I wrote a word which as I wrote it didn't seem to be spelled correctly. I looked at it again wondering if I'd spelled it right and thought surely it must be; after all, if I had written it wrong wouldn't the little red squiggly line have appeared under it?

Yes, indeed I had expected my paper, made of nothing more than wood pulp and water, to some how posses the power to tell me if a handwritten word was spelled correctly or not. Clearly I had a full blown case of TDS and at this point the prognosis was grim, it would probably be a chronic condition and the symptoms will only get worse as time goes by and more technology makes it's way into my life and takes over my brain.

Gotta go, my alarm is telling me it's time for me to feed my kids....